Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
