she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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