Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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