Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize