She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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