I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
