watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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