If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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