my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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