I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize