dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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