Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
