I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
