I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize