What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
My bed smells like the plague
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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