If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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