I heard we made out
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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