i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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