VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
