Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
