Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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