Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
