I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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