Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
She bit a glass in half.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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