hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
