Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
