I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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