so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize
