Three words: puerto rican gang bang
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
