I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
