I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
