so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
