I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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