3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
