How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
