Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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