I can text with my tongue
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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