wrigley field is MILF paradise
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
