I CAN MOONWALK!
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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