i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
