i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
