I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
My hand turned me down
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
