is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
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he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
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I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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