I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
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What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
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Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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