I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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