i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
