nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
