Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
