is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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