I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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