Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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