two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
