very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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