i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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