i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
