saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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