I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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