You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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