just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
It's never too late to be topless.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
How does one acquire holy water?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
