when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
