I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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