fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
