Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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